Conscience
by Alfala
Summary: Tifa and Sephiroth find in each other the object of their goals.


Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII or its characters.

Rated T (no need to rate it M… for now)

Tifa x Sephiroth

Summary: FFVII world - After the party leaves Midgar to find Sephiroth, Tifa is in search for a way to mend her past and what was done to her body after the Nibelheim incident, where she was wounded by Sephiroth and later infused with Jenova cells by the Shin-Ra scientists. On the other end, Sephiroth searches revenge on those that damaged his past and wounded his pride. He's focused on damaging Cloud in the worst way possible and be merciless about his punishment on him. Tifa's and Sephiroth's goals become intertwined when Sephiroth understands that the brunette will be the object of his revenge on Cloud.

* * *

Conscience

"_Love is too young to know what conscience is" - William Shakespeare_

* * *

"I must have no conscience" she told herself. Tifa was convinced that she was the most foolish person alive. She didn't know what to do, so she chose to do nothing. Sitting in the corner of that inn, she was alone with her thoughts, melting into the darkness and inwardly hoping to disappear in the shadows, never to be seen again. She sighed, cursing her mental voice and took another sip of the intense drink she had chosen to accompany her throughout the night. Being a barmaid, Tifa was accustomed to drink every kind of beverage and had developed a keen talent in maintaining herself sober. She found that alcohol was her company in her darkest days, a company that couldn't be replaced by friends, light-hearted conversations or the occasional joke. Even though she tried to maintain an upbeat spirit to the party, she found herself to be the darkest member of the team, by far. When she was alone, confusion took a hold on her, uncovering all that she wanted to bury deep into the past.

"Tifa?" Cloud appeared by the door holding a plate of food in his hands. She smiled faintly at him and invited him to sit next to her. The blond placed the plate between the two of them and picked up one of the apples, offering it to the brunette. Tifa gave a small bite and filled Cloud's cup with the sweet liquor she had been drinking. The man smiled again at her and took a sip of the drink. Both of them remained in silent for a couple of minutes until Cloud broke the silence.

"I think I never knew what pain was before I started this journey."

Tifa raised her eyes to the blond. A tight knot formed in her throat and once again the mental voice started assaulting her head.

"I guess we all had our traumatic experiences."

One hour later, Tifa went to her room, where a sleepy Aerith lied on her bed. The older woman had her chestnut hair spread on the pillow and her arms innocently folded across her chest. Tifa sighed and got into bed. For long moments she stared at the ceiling, her mind racing with troubling thoughts. That afternoon she was forced to listen to Cloud's story and revive her past all over again. In the darkness, she felt Sephiroth's wound in her body, crossing her chest and stomach, penetrating deep into her. The only thing that Cloud didn't know was what Shin-Ra had done to her while she was being treated from the wound.

They had injected Jenova cells into her body. Tifa could feel it all the time: Jenova's alluring voice, calling her to the Northern Crater, pleading for Tifa to reunite with her. Jenova would assault her mind at night, when the girl was more vulnerable, filling her with promises of power. Tifa had hidden it for many years, fearing that the revelation of her secret would turn her friends against her. After all, Sephiroth achieved insanity through Jenova's will. What if Jenova's power also reached Tifa and took a hold of her, guiding her into madness?

Lonely tears fill her eyes. She had to think of a way to repair the damage that was done to her. A way to separate her mind from Jenova's for once and for all. However, Tifa had no idea about how to achieve such an accomplishment. She had no knowledge about such scientific experiments. All she knew about Jenova was that she was the Calamity from the Skies and Death's Harbinger. She didn't even know if it was remotely possible to remove the cells deposited within her.

"Tifa?" Aerith's voice crept out between the blankets in the bed next to her.

"You should sleep, Aerith" Tifa said, turning around to glance at the other woman. Emerald green eyes were gazing upon her, relative concern inscribed in them. More guilty tears filled Tifa's eyes, thinking of the harm that she could cause her friends if Jenova was able to control her. She had to repair all this. The burden upon her shoulders was too heavy to carry throughout life.

"I can't sleep" the other woman replied. "I can feel you awake."

Tifa covered her head with the pillow in an attempt to fall asleep. However, the anxiety was getting a hold of her. She tossed the pillow away and raised herself on her elbows, looking at the dark room. She could hear Aerith's irregular breathing and the shutters flapping against the wind. The dim light that illuminated her features came from a dying flame in the fireplace. In Tifa's mind, that dying flame grew into a devastating fire that consumed wood and stone. Houses and buildings crumbled between the inferno and in the middle of the fire stood a tall man, wearing a black coat and a wicked smirk on his face.

"What are you thinking about, Tifa?"

"The past."

Aerith raised herself and leaned against the headboard. She looked dreamingly at the fire and said: "Cloud's story was probably too much for you to hear."

"It's hard to relive a troubled past."

Aerith sighed and Tifa found a sly smile in her words.

"I know."

"Aerith, do you really talk with the planet?" Tifa asked, circling her knees with her arms. "You said you did, back in the Shin-Ra building. Are you talking to it right now?"

"Not right now. But when you entered the room, I was. The Planet comes to me… it's such a peaceful voice."

"But the planet is wounded, isn't it?"

Aerith sighed again. "Sephiroth. He's damaging the planet."

Tifa's lip curled into a trace of disgust. Her hands clenched into fists and her nails dug deep into her palms. Anger arose within her, consuming her mind. When she spoke, her voice trembled. "I _hate_Sephiroth. I _hate_ him. He took _everything _from me. My father, my home and my friends. He took my dreams and he took my future. The future I dreamed about." _And he took my sanity, even without knowing it. _Tifa could remember the thirst for power in his face, the power that had twisted his features into a mask of cruelty and madness. He had been a hero, a role-model that children and youngsters looked upon. Cloud had been one of those youngsters. Sephiroth had inspired people, women and men, to do what was right. Now his goal was to strip humanity of life and love, in an attempt to accomplish his goal.

"There's still a future for you, Tifa" Aerith said. Her voice was notably concerned. "After we defeat Sephiroth, we'll build a shining future for us."

Tifa smiled bitterly "I don't believe in fairytales, Aerith."

They didn't speak for the rest of the night.

* * *

Sephiroth was sitting on the grass, leaning against the trunk of a tree. He held Masamune tightly between his long fingers. Staring at the wisps of cloud that populated the planet's sky, he let his thoughts wander and travel to the Great Northern Crater, where his mother waited for him. Now that he had found that rookie, he was determined to kill him. _No_, he corrected himself_, kill him would be too merciful. I will make him suffer for what he did to me. I will take away from him everything he loves. _Content with that new idea, Sephiroth rose and looked in the direction of the marshes. He had left Kalm not very long ago and walked across the plains in order to reach the Mythril Mine. The only thing that blocked his way from the caves was the serpent beast that lived in those waters - the Midgar Zolom. He looked at Masamune. It would be easy to slay the creature - perhaps he would even use the Zolom to intimidate Cloud and his party.

Revenge burned deeply into Sephiroth. He had killed that fat bastard Shin-Ra president. When he felt the president's blood in his hands, a faint happiness surged in his heart. He was making everyone pay for what they did to him. Now he would be waiting for Cloud and Hojo. Yes, Hojo also deserved the taste of his blade. That walking mass of complexes would meet his end soon enough. He would end his stupid experiments and scientific ambition and beg for forgiveness - on his knees. Sephiroth smiled at the idea, picturing the scene in his mind. It would be a triumph to see Hojo surrender to his powers. The powers that the scientist himself planted within Sephiroth.

With that image in his head, Sephiroth stepped forward and made his way towards the marshes.

* * *

"Hey, spike-head! What do you miss the most from your childhood?" That was one of the typical spontaneous questions that Barrett loved to ask when they were all silent. Cloud slowly took his eyes off the road and fixed his gaze on the older man.

"I don't know" he replied. Tifa could see in Cloud's face that he was speaking the truth. Normally Cloud wouldn't recall his past with much nostalgia. It was full of ghosts, like Tifa's was. Aerith smiled gently at the question, probably melancholic about her own past.

"What I miss the most" Red said "was when me and grandpa climbed to the observatory. He would tell me the names of all the stars in the sky and teach me which constellations they formed. I loved those nights."

"I remember when my dad gave me my very first beer" Barrett said with a cheerful tone. "I was a kid, too young to even drink one but I liked it. It was cold and that day was freaking hot. Shit, I think I still feel the taste of it on my tongue."

"What I miss the most from my childhood" started Aerith, looking at the sky "was my mom's flower arrangements. They were so beautiful. She would tie the flowers with colored ribbons and spread them through the house. My room always smelled of roses and lavender."

Cloud favored Aerith with one of his rare smiles. Tifa felt something twist in her stomach.

"What _I _miss the most" Tifa said, looking at the ground "Was to play the piano. I loved my piano. It took me to a new reality, where only music could _understand_ me. When my mother died… I played the piano for hours. Well, to drown my tears." She smiled at the word. _What I miss the most is to be normal. Is to feel that I am human._ "I guess I miss a lot of things from my childhood. Everything is brighter when we are young." She added.

Cloud looked at her. There was compassion in his eyes and another feeling that Tifa couldn't recognize.

"You don't know what you miss the most, Cloud?" asked Red with curiosity.

"For God's sake, I have already told you that I don't know. And I couldn't care less, actually."

_You miss the times when you were yourself. When you thought through your own mind and through own ambitions and dreams. Sephiroth crushed those dreams. Your hero was replaced by the image of a cold-hearted murderer. When Sephiroth went insane, so did you. He acted as a figure of _divinity_ for you. You wanted to follow his steps. When he ruined your wish you didn't know what you wanted anymore. You didn't even know what you were. _

"I know we will relieve those memories again" said Aerith with a gentle smile. "We'll be happy again, as we were back then."

"Alright!" said Barrett, grinning at the flower girl. He punched Cloud's shoulder and shouted: "You, spike-head! Stop being a pain in the ass and a butthead and try to be nicer, gotcha?"

Cloud didn't answer.

Later that night, they camped near a cluster of trees. Red and Aerith were talking near the fire. The girl's features were marked with a deep frown. Aerith and Red had very philosophical conversations, conversations which Tifa preferred to avoid, since philosophy and other somber subjects could awake the darkest part of her being. She sat with her legs crossed near her tent, mending one of her gloves with a piece of thread and a thin needle. Cloud joined her after hearing Barrett's plans for the next day. They were going to cross the marshes at foot since they had no money to buy a Chocobo and the thought of facing that huge serpent-beast made all of them anxious for the upcoming morning. He and Tifa remained in silence for a while, until he asked:

"You know what I miss the most in my childhood?"

Tifa raised her eyes from the glove. "No."

"I miss seeing you smile."

She looked at the blond, astonished by his words. Cloud had been so cold those last days. That demonstration of affection was surprising for her.

"We changed, Cloud. That day marked us both."

He looked at the fire. The flames projected dancing shadows on his features. His hand reached out to her and his fingers enveloped hers with a gentle squeeze. Tifa felt warm tears burn her cheeks. Then she leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

* * *

Sephiroth could see the camp from his hideout. The Cetra girl was speaking to that talking red beast. The other man, the one with the gun plucked into his arm was drinking something from a wood cup. Then, sitting beside one of the tents was the puppet and that cowgirl that tried to stop him in Nibelheim. Amused, Sephiroth watched their conversation, barely hearing their words. Then he noticed that the rookie was holding the dark-haired woman's hand. The rare intimacy between a man and a woman.

"Is she the one who you cherish the most?" asked Sephiroth to the night "Then I will take her away from you."

* * *

_**A/N: **__I hope you liked it. _


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